We all have an ability to overcome adversities within our personal and professional lives, though some deal with the more challenging adversities better than others due to their levels of resilience.

But who decides how difficult each challenge is and whether we can overcome it or not? Do we set ourselves up for failure simply through our own perceptions of each situation that presents itself? How do we increase our own resilience to better deal with the more challenging adversities?

Army experience tested resilience

I have had experience of this to varying degrees through the fourteen years I served in the Army, and those who served under me and with me, and those who I served under, including on deployment on multiple operations around the globe. However, the knowledge of my own resilience and how to overcome adversity was stretched beyond my own known capacity over these past couple of years after being officially diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and falling foul of a debilitating spinal condition which has resulted in seven pro-lapsed discs.

It has demonstrated to me that we are all capable of so much more than we give ourselves credit for and we will never fully appreciate our limits unless we test ourselves, push ourselves out of our ‘comfort zones’ and embrace failure. Yes, that’s right, embrace failure, as this is us merely learning our current limits, then identifying ways of overcoming these limits to find our new limits, continually striving to be a better version of who you are; it is called ‘living’.

Working through inconceivable pain

I was recently put to the test once again as my team and I took part in a 10km Rough Runner cross country event that included fifteen obstacles requiring navigating along the way. I was fully expecting it to be physically challenging and whilst the pain at times was inconceivable and uncontrollable, I found the biggest challenge to be a mental one. The range of emotions, thoughts and feelings were beyond what I had imagined, the closest I can get to describing it is that World War Three was going on in my mind!

Take a minute to think of a situation at work which you couldn’t deal with or overcome. What was it that specifically prevented you from doing so? Would it put you out of your comfort zone? Did you not have the skills to attempt it? Is there something that you could do now to overcome it, such as learning new skills, pushing yourself out of your comfort zone or maybe even asking for support? You gain more value if you answer these questions!

Asking for support is a sign of strength

Accepting that it is our own perceptions of a situation or challenge that affect us, that it is healthy to push ourselves outside of our comfort zones, and that we can embrace failure whilst continuing to learn new skills, are all essential to living and succeeding. However, it is the ‘asking for support’ that I wish to draw your attention to.

Prior to the day of the Rough Runner, my partner highlighted to me that I had become overly focused on this being a personal challenge, one that I had to face and overcome by myself. This was causing me to become anxious, stressed and panicky over the whole thing, leading to my catastrophising and feeling certain of failure, letting everybody who had donated and supported us down.

I had lost sight of the fact that this was a team effort and that by facing this challenge together, working together as a team and supporting one another through our various strengths and weaknesses, I would in fact be overcoming my own personal challenges along the way. On reflection of what I have actually achieved, the many adversities I overcame that day, the battles fought and won, the pain barriers we all broke through, and fears we faced head on, none of this would be possible if we had not worked together.

You might not like asking for help or support at times, you may see it as a sign of weakness, yet through all I have experienced in war, life and business, it takes courage and is a sign of strength to accept support, more so to ask for it. We all require the support of others to get through life.

The strong have weaknesses and will eventually weaken when they go it alone. As a team undivided we remain strong, flexible and invaluable to others.

Watch Nick and his team’s Rough Runner experience on the Working Minds Matter Youtube channel.